The Columns
Matthew 7:25 (NIV)
The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
They stand as the most recognizable symbol of the University of Missouri campus. They stand at forty-three feet tall and they are the only remaining part of the university’s first building. Academic Hall burned to the ground in a fire in 1892. The columns remained standing and today are an iconic symbol of the university.
During the time following my son’s accident I have thought about these columns. They are what remains after destruction hit the university but now are a symbol of resilience. I have wondered about how my life would look in my remaining days. Would I be able to survive the loss? What would remain?
It has now been almost two years since the accident. I have learned much about the rebuilding process yet grief stills crashes down on my life in expected and unexpected moments. The lessons I have learned have not been how to remove grief from my life but rather how to stand strong on a firm foundation and survive another day. Like the columns I have found ways to remain when much of my expectations for life were destroyed around me. The six columns on campus are built upon strong bases. Each base provides a strong foundation for each column. It has been reinforced to me throughout this process that whatever I do to persevere through this loss must be built upon the strong foundation of faith. God provides the foundation I need for withstanding the waves of grief. I have reflected on how I have found strength in this difficult time. I thought about the six columns. I have summarized the strategies that I have implemented into six areas that have been the most helpful when I am struggling with the depths of grief. When I started writing these weekly devotions I wanted to provide help for others suffering with grief by deeply examining my own grief and sharing what God has taught me. I dedicated myself to writing 52 devotions in the second year of my grief. I have six devotions remaining. In the final six devotions I will be sharing the six most powerful tools that I have found to withstand the waves of grief.
The columns on campus withstood destruction and stand as a reminder to all of us of the power of resilience. After the loss of my son I wondered if grief would ever get any easier. The hard answer is no. Grief and love go hand in hand. I love my son just as much as the day I lost him. The grief I feel is that same love I have for him without being able to experience life with him each day. So if the grief is the same what has changed? How can I go to work and function if the grief is the same. The grief is the same but I am different. God has made me stronger. He has taught me to rely on Him. By turning to God, He has strengthened me. The grief isn’t easier but God has made me stronger. He has shown me ways to rely on Him to be my strength. The final six devotions will share my story but more importantly they will display a much larger story. They will tell the story of God’s love for all of us.
